How to Overcome Being a Perfectionistic Christian - Part 1
by Dr. Peter Martin

David Burns claimed that pathological perfectionists are “those whose standards are high beyond reach or reason, people who strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment.” He contrasted this type of perfectionism with the more peace-filled approach he called a healthy pursuit of excellence.

Many serious Christians in pursuit of virtue, me included, have fallen prey to the enticements of pathological perfectionism at one point or other. Its “victims” come from all walks of life, all vocational states of life, and all levels of belief or unbelief. But, the question arises, why?

In Part 1 of this 2-part series on perfectionism, we will consider a description, including a psycho-spiritual self-assessment. Then, in Part 2, we will consider a Christian psychological prescription to make steps toward addressing this unhealthy tendency to evaluate oneself in a merely conditional, utilitarian way.

First, to be clear, striving for growth and excellence is not the problem, rather, it’s how the striving occurs. Positive perfectionism (striving for excellence) may be adaptive, healthy striving with peace. In contrast, pathological perfectionism may be maladaptive, neurotic striving without peace.

From a psycho-spiritual self-assessment, one’s perfectionism lens may lead to unwitting distortions or over-interpretations of biblical passages. For example, a perfectionist may cite Matthew 5:48 (“You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”) as biblical support of his or her stress-inducing, idealized efforts. “No pain, no gain!” However, the text never posits one should be perfectionistic, hypercritical, or scrupulous as the heavenly Father, but simply “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Also, it does not endorse common, peace-compromising reactions of the Christian perfectionist such as: viewing oneself as unlovable if one makes a mistake; holding the view that one should be “more perfect than a saint” and never make a mistake; interpreting a 98% on a test as not a good grade but an abject miserable failure.

Sometimes a perfectionist may identify with individuals in scripture who have similar, overlapping personality features. I recommend reading through the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) and Jesus Visits Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) passages and determining which figure you connect with most. A perfectionist may align more with the critical older brother in the first passage and with the active and critical Martha in the second passage.

In short, in this brief psycho-spiritual self-assessment, if you find yourself identifying with aspects of David Burns’s definition of perfectionism, or the Prodigal’s older brother as compared to even his merciful father, or Martha over Mary, you may have some perfectionist tendencies. If so, welcome to the ever-growing club! In the next article, we’ll discuss psycho-spiritual ways to overcome features of pathological perfectionism. With some grace and effort, you may increase your freedom to be more open to the peace of soul the Lord wants for you and yours on the journey toward excellence.